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3 Things To Remember When Everything Goes Wrong (Plus One Technique To Get Back On Track)

Bad things happen. And earlier this year, they KEPT happening.

It was as if I jumped out of an airplane with two parachutes and both of them failed.

Yet, as I plummeted towards the ground I was calm. One friend even said, “I’m surprised how zen you are about this.”

Why? HOW?!

We all know sometimes bad things just happen. Maybe a deadline comes up and your computer crashes. Maybe your biggest client cancels his contract. Maybe you stubbed your toe ($%#$ MY TOE!)

In situations like this, we’re tempted to curse, fight, point fingers, and worse, completely lose it. We know its counterproductive but we can’t control ourselves.

And that’s why I’m going to share 3 things to remember when everything goes wrong plus the one technique I use to right the ship.

How to Deal With Situations Out Of Your Control

What To Do When Everything Goes WRONG

How do you deal with bad situations out of your control… without cursing?

I’ll tell you how.

Symbols. Symbols. And more symbols.

Seriously though, how do you handle situations out of your control the RIGHT way?

I’m Derek Halpern, the founder of Social Triggers. And in this video, I’m going to show you how you can tame the situation and take back control.

You ever have one of those weeks? Those weeks where EVERYTHING goes wrong? I had one. It was horrible.

I was an affiliate for a product I believed in. And for the first two days of my promotion, I had the WRONG affiliate link. This means that I wasn’t getting credit for sales I was making.

That’s what you call Bad Affiliate Marketing 101.

I fixed the link, sent out a new email, but it got WORSE

A few days later, my email service provider was under attack from hackers. This took down their site for the better part of the week.

That means, when I sent a new email out with the RIGHT link, all of the links WERE BROKEN.

Between the WRONG links, and then the BROKEN links, I probably lost enough money to cover 2 years salary for one of my employees in just a few days.

What a bad week.

So, what happened exactly? And how did I deal with it?

First, let’s focus on the WHAT.

The whole thing was out of my control.

The error with the affiliate link was the direct fault of my webhost. They even admitted their mistake.

And my email service provider getting hacked… Well, I blame the hackers. But I won’t blame them too loudly. I don’t want them hacking my Youtube channel.

But was it REALLY out of my control?

The answer is no. And I learned my lesson.

You see, my webhost has a history of making small annoying mistakes like this, but I always overlooked them.

I thought, “it’s not a big deal. No harm, no foul.”

But this time they made the same silly mistake, and it cost me a lot of money.

And while I’d love to BLAME them, deep down, in my gut, I knew they were capable of messing little things up. I should have put a process in place to prevent it.

The funny part is:

As soon as I thought about it like that, as soon as I shifted the blame from someone else on to myself, I went from feeling enraged to feeling empowered. Because the bottom line is that I should have known better, and next time, I WILL know better.

And that’s the FIRST tip to dealing with situations that are out of your control.

I call it the “Blame It All On Me” Technique

And it’s simple:

When you’re dealing with a problem that’s screwing you up, instead of pushing the blame elsewhere, use the benefit of hindsight to find a way to put the blame on yourself.

You’ll go from feeling helpless to feeling empowered.

But what if the situation REALLY IS out of your control?

When my email service provider got hacked, I can honestly say that was 100% out of my control.

I wasn’t hacking them. They weren’t hacking themselves.

But here’s the thing:

There’s something known as the Black Swan Event.

Have you heard of it?

If yes, bear with me for a sec. If no, it’s quite simple. It was popularized by Nassim Nicholas Taleb, a best-selling author, and it’s, “an event or occurrence that deviates beyond what is normally expected of a situation and that would be extremely difficult to predict.”

My email service provider getting hacked was definitely a Black Swan Event in my business.

Maybe not the world, but definitely in my business.

Now, I could fret about this. Except, Taleb goes on to explain that events like these are inevitable. Something like this will ALWAYS happen. Trying to predict or prevent them is impossible.

So, what can you do when YOU are faced with a Black Swan Event in your business or life?

Two things:

#1. Take solace in knowing it’s a rare event and it probably won’t happen that often (or again).

That’s how I took it.

A friend of mine actually said, “you’re pretty calm about this.”

And I said, “yea, nothing I can do.”

And he went on, “that’s pretty zen of you.”

What’s funny is, I’m the least zen person I know. I’m high strung, a perfectionist, and always WIRED.

But, things happen, and we move on.

#2. Find your SPOF and eliminate it.

There’s something known as a Single Point of Failure.

In my business, my email service provider is my Single Point of Failure. If it goes down, I’m screwed.

So, what I do now is this:

I now keep my list in two locations. One with one company, and the same list with another company (one that allowed me to import it).

Now if something like this happens, I won’t email two times in the same week and send broken links twice.

If it happens once, I can switch to the other provider. No harm. No foul.

Just because I do this doesn’t mean you need to do this. You might have more pressing problems than this.

I’m doing it because my email list is literally EVERYTHING.

You need to find YOUR single point of failure for your business.

For example, you might find that most of your revenue comes from one single client or job. Maybe it’s time to find new clients or get a second stream of income.

So, to recap:

When you encounter a situation that’s out of your control…

First, find a way to blame yourself. It hurts at first, but it’s also empowering.

And second, if it really is out of your control, know that it’s a rare event. And take steps to prevent that SPOF in the future.

Now, let me ask you this:

Have you ever had to deal with a situation that was completely out of your control? How did you handle it? What steps did you take to prevent this type of situation from happening again?

Let me know in the comments. I’ll read every one.

Also, if you know someone who can benefit from this video, be sure to send them a link.

If you liked this video and want to get more videos just like this, make sure you subscribe to my channel and hop on the Social Triggers newsletter.

Until next time!

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56 comments Leave a comment

Great Video Derek. I’m loving totally socialtriggers as well 🙂


It’s amazing how often we do things completely counterproductive and we KNOW they’re counterproductive while doing them…but continue to just because we’re in the heat of it. Great video wish a couple of nice tips to help you along. 🙂


AJ & Serenity Services

Hey Derek I really enjoyed watching this video. I often get rather irritated and frustrated when certain things don’t go according to plan, so this particular video was real refreshing to me.

Just recently my girlfriend and I went on vacation to the beach. The hotel we were staying in had a very weak Wi Fi connection, so it was very difficult to check email and stuff like that. All we could do was go with the flow and roll with the punches. We could have gone to a McDonald’s or Starbucks that had a reliable connection, but we didn’t make a big deal out of it and let it ruin our vacation. We decided to take care of any and all business matters after returning home.


It sucks when unexpected events come in and mess things up.
However, if you have the attitude that it’s just gonna add fuel to the flames that will make you successful then it can be turned into a positive.

Etosha Lankatilleke

Hahah I remember that email.. and I remember cracking up about it. Good stuff man!!

On a side note..Social Triggers has really evolved over the years.
loving the corny zen video effect


One event that I felt was both in my control and out of control was me ending up in jail and nearly losing my family. Not only that, we ended getting evicted the following day and had to move out the end of that week.

While I was sitting in my jail cell I knew I could’ve easily blamed it on others that have gotten me to where I was. But I knew ultimately my actions were what got me there, which in all essence is in my control. I felt disconnected from the world outside because I had no idea what was going on with my home or family. The anxiety drove me up the wall the first two days.

One of my favorite teachers once told me that just because we learn the lesson the first time, doesn’t mean we won’t be reminded of the lessons again and again.

At the moment, I’m reminded of one huge lesson

I’m responsible for my actions.
The minute I accepted responsibility of where I was and how my actions got me there, the anxiety began to subside. I immediately began focusing on things I could do that will ensure that I will never out myself or my family in this situation again. Even though I knew there was a lot of work to be done once I was released, I had an inner peace that I knew everything was going to be ok.

Awesome video as usual, brotha, looking forward to the next one.

Beatrix Willius

Bad things happen. It’s life. Makes life so much more fun – when it’s over.

After 2 months of internal testing I proudly made my new software available. It crashed for everyone. After one day of panicking and failing to find the cause of the crash, I said to myself to calm down. Because the day job is in the auto industry I did a “recall” of my software. People reacted very patient and understanding. A day later I found the problem – it was a 5 minute fix. And everything was okay. Later I changed my software release sequence to do more testing before releasing software.

If your email provider is hacked and doesn’t inform you then you need to change providers. One needs to work with professional vendors.

Top Blogger

Great Article. it’s Really helpful and Valuable post. Thanks for Sharing.

Steven Davis

Great strategy.

You might consider using a secure DNS service so that you can redirect links to a different server in case of outage.

Dave Bross

“When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro”
– Hunter Thompson –

The Get In Shape Girl

I believe we attract things that happen to us, good and bad. It’s super awesome when good things happen like making it to where you are gonna go in 10 minutes when there’s normally traffic or making thousands of dollars in the first week we launch a new product. We attract that and if we want more of it, we need to take time to express gratitude for that.

But, when crappy things happen like your examples, or perhaps getting stuck in traffic in the middle of the day or even being the one in the car accident, we attract those things too.

I like to say, “okay, thank you universe for showing me the contrast and for showing me what I do not want,” and it helps us appreciate what we do want more, and it helps us have a clear understanding of what we do want and want more of.

The aweber thing sucked big time. I was super frustrated with it and honestly, I thought this EXACTLY, “this sucks for me, I can’t imagine what some of the really big businesses are feeling right now.” It made it not seem so bad, and like you, it made me realize that I need to back up my email addresses!!! There’s always some kind of silver lining if you think of it that way and the Aweber thing def taught me a lesson I needed to learn!

Susan Findlay

I am currently re-establishing myself as a marketable person moving away from being known as an owner of a training school. This of course has its challenges as does running a school. But what makes it less stressful is something I learned while establishing the school, I wasn’t born a boss, I had to learn how to be a good one, someone who good instill loyalty, commitment and love of the job in my team. I did not have all the natural qualities I had to learn them, along the way I made loads of mistakes, I did not keep my eye on things the way I should have, when something went wrong I looked to see where I could place the blame, I did not take charge of repeat offenders, I kept letting it go instead of handling it. So what changed? I changed my attitude, I learned to look at the crap that came my way as an “opportunity” to find a solution. So now everything I do is solution based, how can I get the best from so and so, I ask myself what should I be doing to resolve something that could turn nasty, I now look at it as a bit of fun, using both my imagination and creativity to come up with the best solutions, it saves me from ill health and I look forward to my day. So I accept problems will come across my desk everyday, that not everything goes to plan, so with that in mind I can rest in the knowledge that there will be a solution, it is a matter of finding the best one.

jolie kinga

Hey There and thanks for another great tip. okay here is a very big and reoccuring issue .. there are a lot of ‘gigs’ out there that look for a barter, trade, free experience, portfolio material as a way of really asking you to work for free .. and more than THAT being a big enough problem, is that there are a lot of starved newbies that say ‘YES’ which makes it really hard to kill this bad habit. I would like to find a way to not only avoid these scenarios but also simply STOP this from happening all together. Any tips?


Two weeks ago it became clear that the manager at my workplace (salon) was handing over some of my clients to a newish employee. It made me furious because when this person transferred to our location I was given assurances that although she performed some of the same services, she would only be performing those services on her own client base.

I wanted to tear a strip off this woman but I bit my tongue because I knew she wasn’t the one doing it. I work at a multi-salon company owned by a family so lodging a complaint with one family member (owner) about what his sister (the manager) is up to is a delicate thing and I’d rather eat a brick.

At first I just stomped around. I gave her the cold shoulder. Then it occurred to me that really, I was upset because I wasn’t busy enough. That was partly due to the fact that some of my clients were funnelled her way. I was also upset because most of my clients come to me for that particular service. I realized that at this particular location my client base was too specific to handle that kind of loss. What I needed to do was diversify my client base.

So, I went back over what I learned in SYBR, your YouTube channel, as well as some pointers from a book I’ve been reading called Leveraging The Universe and started working on building new clients for other services – that only *I* am licensed to perform.

In two weeks I’ve gotten 120 Instagram followers, most of them local, and it’s resulted in new appointments and referrals. It doesn’t really solve the issue I have with the manager taking my clients but when I was able to speak to someone about it, I was already making changes to how I approached the situation, so I was able to have a pleasant conversation about it – not the ego-driven flipping out that would have happened otherwise. It probably won’t change how this particular manager handles things, but I’m happy that I didn’t storm out the door or do something else I would’ve regretted.


I am new to this blog, this video helps a lot, i was searching something like this

Pete Springer

Another great video, Derek. Thank you.


I totally agree with the TAKING RESPONSIBILITY thinking…. hate the word blame. Love the video….. I have take responsibility for staff turn over even though it is their decision to move on, what can I do to improve working conditions so they want to stay (so that they would never ever consider leaving)…. my plan, which goes against everything I was told, which hasn’t worked anyway….Provide training (often) as reward for consistent work and increasing clientele, therefor increasing their sence of value and respect. See how we go 🙂


Amazing how this video was posted a week after my black swan event. Recently, all within a week, I had to put down a pet. Then, two days later my wheels were stolen off my vehicle. I woke up to find my car sitting on blocks. I use a motorcycle as back up transportation. I used that to get to work the day after my wheels were stolen only to have it break down on me 2 miles from home. I pushed the motorcycle 2 miles on the highway back to my apartment. lol. Talk about a black swan event, eh? What did I learn? That something good usually happens out of something bad. My insurance check is enough to cover new wheels and the repairs for my motorcycle. I’d like to think that the situation was to avoid something even more horrific.


Hey Derek!
April was my “what ever CAN go wrong WILL go wrong month” None of it was work related, but I work from home so it still affects me in some way.
It started with an inspection that discovered my furnace was leaking CO2 – replacement. It ended with torrential downpours that left 5″ of water in my basement.
I meditate every morning and do Angel Readings. However, the only time I could do my readings was first thing in the morning.
As for the basement, when a wet vac is no match for the water coming in – you retreat and drink. In that order.
Thanks for the video. I do have my point of failures under review and revision. Will get it all worked out – some way – some how!

Melissa Wilson

Great message in this video. There’s always stuff happening that is beyond our control. I saw something one time about how there’s really no need to ever worry. Basically, if it’s something you can do something about then do it; if it’s something you can’t do anything about then let it go.


Thanks Derek for those useful insights. I love your work! I used to get very stressed out by a lot of things going wrong in my life, up to the point that my health started to deteriorate. Then one day I decided that this was not how I wanted to live. This decision led me on the path of self discovery and improvement, which led me to attend some Buddhist gatherings. In a conversation with one of the monks about the subject of stress, he told me the most valuable, simple thing that shifted my thinking from victim to empowerment, which was: Every time you stress about something, ask yourself: “Can I do something about it?” If the answer is Yes, then why worry? If the answer is No, why worry? The more I did this, the better I coped with life’s hurdles. I have not been depressed since and have now just started up a blog earlier this week to help uplift others by sharing my personal everyday stories in which I show a different way of looking at life than the one I learned in the first half of mine: http://happypollyesther.com/


Hi Derek,
I think this video in particular and this type of video in general are very eye openers.
Most of the times we get hung up on issues that aren’t under our control such as major things like being in a job that we have trouble dealing with because it’s hard to get a similar or better, or with some minor things like a broken link or something that is not so significant or hard to change.
Anyways, I thinks these videos help us to refresh our points of view about stuff.
Thanks for sharing and make more of these, please! 🙂


Seems like most things are out of my control lately. I’ve adopted the philosophy of being “comfortable with uncertainty” because nothing is certain in life. This helps to alleviate my anxiety, curb my over-planning tendencies and soften my control-freak behaviors. Pema Chodron even has a book called “Comfortable with Uncertainty.” Recommended.

Ann & the Dog

I’m with you, Derek! Can’t get upset when you can’t control it even though much of what we do is avoidable if we can only see it coming. I’ve tried something recently that’s really worked for me. I want the first 4 words out of my mouth to be “I trust you God”. It somehow calms me knowing that His plan is working even if I don’t see it.


Well, when everything went wrong for me as an entrepreneur, I blamed myself as well. It didn’t work out for me, considering the nature of what happened… A sex crime committed against me. I know you meant well, I’m just saying, be careful with this advice! My therapist’s most helpful reminder was that it wasn’t my fault. That helped me move on. Others struggling with the loss of a loved one, PTSD, or depression should probably not take the “I blame myself” approach. Best of luck to everyone. <3

Christine Coleman

Hi Derek, another great video! This reminds me of giving birth!

I’ve had two natural births and the first one really span out of control and left me pretty messed up – I’ll spare you all the gory details!

But I knew I wanted a sibling for that baby and I’d have to give birth again so instead of blaming the midwife, hospital etc for my previous trauma, I adopted your approach and accepted responsibility for my bad birth and put it down to my inexperience and my readiness to hand over control to someone else and worked on how I could retain control and have a better second birth. I thought of myself as an Olympian who’d walked away with bronze. Second time round I wanted gold.

I went back to the hospital and looked at my first birth notes so that I could understand the sequence of events. It all started with my baby’s shoulders getting wedged in my pelvis so I researched how to fix this if it happened again.

To cut an extremely long story short, my second birth went like a dream and I was congratulated by my midwife for making her feel like furniture in the room because she didn’t have to do anything!

In the end, keeping calm, accepting responsibility, identifying my Achille’s heel and how to fix it saved the day (and my v#@^%#)!


Okay so everyone has a way of responding to a situation that is out of their control! If something is out your control please kindly seek out to Jesus about what He did on the cross! You will know certainly that if you trust in Him there is nothing will lead you into perishing! And you will know it will be just right! That’s his word and he hasn’t failed me or anyone around me! And better yet if you love Him…then you should know that all things come together for those who love and are called according to the purpose of the God!


Very zen!

Actually, I had a question about how you are keeping the 2 copies of the email list synced between 2 providers? If someone unsubs from one do you have to manually unsub them from the other?

And how would you handle things like autoresponder sequences and signup forms with that system?

I’m sensing that there will be more than a simple reply in the comments to cover that, but inquiring minds want to know 8=)

Peggy McMahan

Measure twice. Cut once.

Perry Bernard

Hey Derek, great vid today. We have a 8 year old boy with ADHD and he exhibits so much ‘blaming’ in his day to day dealings with everyone. Everything that happens to him is always someone else’s fault. Even when he’s naughty, he says so-and-so “told me to do it”. Frustrating!! I’d so love to be able to teach him the idea of ‘blame yourself and become empowered’. Wow what a challenge that would be, and what an amazing turnaround this little boy would experience. If only he could.

Jerry Novick

Great video, Derek! Applies to business and life. I can think of times in both arenas that I have hit that “out of my control” situation. And I used to react very badly. I act less badly now because I just try to stay calm. But with your tips, instead of trying to stay calm – I am now armed with a real way to be calm!

My most recent “Out of my control” moment was when the load time on my site slowed down to taking minutes instead of seconds. I was sure it was the Host Providers fault. I knew I hadn’t made any changes that would suddenly caused it.

After going around and around in circles with the Host tech support, I finally got the problem elevated to a Senior Tech, who did a complete debug of my site. It turned out that one of the plug-ins I was using was broken because the developer stopped updating and supporting it. So it wasn’t the Hosts provider’s fault.

And ultimately, it was my fault. I learned from then on to keep an eye on the makers of the plug-ins I use to see if they are still active.

Thanks again for such great tips.

I’m sharing this video to twitter.

Evie Burke

You mention in your video that you have your list in two places. How do you manage the changes in two places (new subscribers and unsubscribes)?

Poppy Grady

My mother has a saying: “It may not be your fault, but it is your problem.” When things go wrong I repeat this to myself. It takes the blame off of anyone and turns my despair into action because I face the issue saying “Okay, so I’ve got a problem; watch me fix the [bleep] out of this!” It sort of turns me into the hero (in my own eyes). Repeat: “It may not be my fault, but it is my problem.” Then roll up your sleeves and be your own hero.

Dave Vogt

I ran into your same problems Derek…looks like we share the same email provider.
I finally got my site built, tweaked, and ready to run. Then I set up my Facebook ads etc. to put it out there to the world. A day goes by and I go to my email provider to see if anyone had signed up and…..BAM! What the ___ is this.
Man I was upset.
All this hard work I’m spending money on ads and getting hits and traffic and my system is broken and it’s all out of my control.
Love your video and the choices you made…it all makes sense!
I did a similar thing with the funny characters and then went right into “get it fixed” mode. I shut down my advertising, revamped a few videos, tweaked and rewrote my emails, and took my minimal viable product and improved on what I had while I waited.
I guess the world of real estate agents dying to start building single property websites with my online training course would have to wait. Now I’ve relaunched and I feel my offering looks a bit better now at least.
My email provider (and yours) now have some serious $%&@ to throw at the attackers next time they show up and my site, emails, and videos are just a little better then they were before.
Sorry about your lost income bro…I feel for ya! Thank you for all you do and share on here. Your a rockstar in my books. Keep it coming!


Impressed you read the black swan maybe next you’ll check out Mandelbrot too? Just finished the Black swan again as I got into New York for a couple days. Life changer if you have any interest in investing. Nice post.

Geniece Brown

Hi Derek. What a great way to look at it as far as taking personal blame for your situtation. The link issue was definitely a bummer but you handled it well. I’m learning so much from you. Thanks for another awesome post!


If something happens that is out of my control, I have looked for the lesson in it, often it is something I either missed or omitted.

If something is out of my control and it wasn’t something I had done or failed to do, I’ve learned to accept it and find a way around it so that I can keep moving forward.

Spencer Goldade

I had a very similar situation to you. I was hacked. What’s worse though, I was hacked while a highly regarded mentor was standing right behind me– my website replaced with Turkish pornography.

The sad thing? It was because I hadn’t updated my software or plugins. Something I knew had to be done (back then it was more of a manual process than it is automated like it is now), but I put it off. It was my fault.

Unfortunately that mentor, although extremely knowledgeable and a great resource, was also a bit sensitive. That mess up didn’t go over well with her and she assumed that I was actually just looking at pornography and was a pervert. Epic fail. Which also reminds us to try and be honest and apologize.

All in all it was actually pretty funny though.


Awesome…perfect timing!!!

Kamila Gornia

Very interesting perspective, Derek. The “blame it on me” technique reminds me (kind of) of The Work from Katie Baron’s book “Loving What Is” where she says anything that angers us or frustrates us about the other people/external world is a reflection of what it is about us, PLUS the belief we believe, once investigated, often turns out to be not true after all. Makes the pain go away quicker so we can move on and get to figuring things out what to do that we actually do have an effect on.


Yes! When I did a complete re-design/overhaul of my website last year, I had all my ducks in a row and finally hit “send” on my email announcement to my substantial (though nothing like yours) mailing list. As the gods would have it, literally minutes after doing so, my site went down. Not because of traffic, but because of a problem with my web host’s server — all that showed up when people went to my site was:


I got multiple emails letting me know and immediately called and was on the phone literally all day on hold or transferred between people and was finally told that it was a server error and it would be back up within 24-72 hours. Not great for my email announcement, but I waited as there was nothing I could do. After the 72 hours passed, my site was still not up so I called again and was told that the site was hosted at one location but had to be moved to another before they could fix it (!) which hadn’t been done yet due to a communication error on their part.

I had been a customer of this company for 13 years, because back when I originally made my site in the early days of the internet, they were one of the only affordable web hosts around. In the meantime, they had upgraded their systems, but HAD LEFT THEIR OLDEST CUSTOMERS ON ANCIENT TECH. Yes, that’s right, rather than rewarding their loyal customers by moving them to their newest, faster servers, they left them on vulnerable, outdated, slow-as-molasses servers. Which I found out is why my site went down.

So I spent another entire day trying to figure out what could be done and when my site would be back up. ANOTHER 72 hours. I was also, however, given a supervisor’s name and he told me he would get back to me “on Monday” (a week after my original email announcement) and gave me his direct email address. He not only failed to get back to me, but was never available when I called over the ensuing months, and failed to respond to any emails I or their own company members sent him.

They finally got my site back up and running a week and a half later (and I know you know personally how much people don’t like multiple emails sent about links not working (regardless of the reason) and then follow-up emails when they are supposed to). But it was SLOW again. They still hadn’t fixed it completely and there was a problem with my internal site where I couldn’t upload any new content for weeks!

I was so livid about the whole thing, after it was up and running and I reminded my list to visit it again, I didn’t have the energy to call the web host again. And of course, what did this company do for their loyal customer of 13 years, after causing a major loss in revenue from my email campaign from a documented comedy of errors on their technicians’ and customer service reps’ parts? “Sorry, we’ll extend your service by 3 months.” At which point I pointed out to them was the equivalent of $17 !!

So I took a couple of months to get up the mental energy to deal with the situation once and for all and migrated my site and services over to a new web host and haven’t looked back.

Needless to say, I would avoid LIKE THE PLAGUE the hosting company that starts with a G and ends with a Y.

Most of you probably already know that, but I know way too many people who still use them.

Omar Lopez

This was a long and cold winter (and spring) in New York City. Unlike the X-Men character Storm, I had no control over the weather. Toward the end I would constantly think about how happy I would be once it was warm again.

Then I read James Altucher’s idea of “time travelling.” If I spent my time thinking about the past or wishing I were in the future, I would completely miss what was happening in front of me.

Being present helped. I learned to “embrace the suck,” as our military folks say.

(It was fun bumping into you in the street yesterday, Derek!)


For me I don’t like to use the word “blame” at all even for myself. It doesn’t inspire action. When s*%t happens I say to myself, “Ok, what can I do about it – do to fix problem or do differently going forward.” Answering that question always helps me figure out whether or not something is out of my control. Blaming myself means simply beating myself up which I’ve done for years and hasn’t worked. What can I do is empowering for me.

Gina Hammond

First, I lost my 2 out of 3 card art clients in 6 months. I started realizing I had made a mistake going local and just counting on them. So I started counting on me. First, I got a map and started calling art galleries in other states. New England especially liked my work and I started selling. I am in wholesale 8 galleries and 1 bookstore. What do I do now. ? Keep customers happy and get even more new ones. Goal is 48.Customers.2nd thought roll up my sleeves and get to work. I had no one to blame but me. Thanks,gina’s art hammond


Ugh! My domain ownership lapsed and I lost my name causing my daily viewership to go down hundreds of views!! I haven’t even gotten close to building it back up to where it was and I’m not sure I ever will 🙁

maddy @ http://www.YourBeautyBanter.com


Thanks for this Derek,

I feel it is always related to a blog and online business because things are always going to go wrong. When I was getting my site ready I had a designer friend who taking care of it and I needed it by late january as I was making progress with things. He eventually bailed on me so I set up things as much as I could and used elance to get the rest done. I felt screwed and overwhelmed with things going wrong but put my head down to get it finished.


I’m a baby boomer and we always blame ourselves first – it’s a generational thing. I’m dealing with something right now – running a credit card I hit Swiss Francs instead of US$. I noticed it right away and refunded it but the credit card provider says it won’t fix it for 8 days! I’m working on that and I will check the currency twice in the future and probably twist myself into a pretzel until the refund comes through and then try to make it up to the customer. I HATE MISTAKES!


This video is really helpful

Mary Catherine George

Amazing – love the way you have quantified what I did for a recent problem that was occurring in my business. I did blame myself, but I didn’t know why I felt better doing so… this video gave me that definition – I took back control!! Terrific awareness -;0) Also, I am calculating my need to sign up for your blog training course.. I am not sure if I am just signing up so that I can have one more course that gets me started or what – but I am close to pushing the button… gonna think on it overnight..

Thanks again for all the wonderful content..


    Tanya McGill Freeman

    Mary Catherine,
    I just HAD to jump in here when I saw your comment on the post/video for two reasons: 1) Good for you for intuitively taking back the control in your particular situation! That’s awesome. I admire such self-awareness. 2) If you’re even just thinking about enrolling in Derek’s course Blog That Converts, I’ve got to say, as someone who’s gone through it twice – RUN, don’t walk to sign up for it! It is a total game-changer for your website/blog and business. For real. I simply can’t recommend it highly enough. Derek’s content is unbelievable, the experts he invites to further educate his students in the bonus material are top-of-the-line pro’s in their fields and the community of students in the Blog That Converts Facebook forum is extremely supportive and helpful. SO…I hope to get to see you in there sometime soon maybe… 🙂 All the best to you!


For some reason I’ve always managed to keep a calm exterior when all the s**t hit the fan. But I would get criticized by my work colleagues. They felt I didn’t understand the gravity of the situation if I wasn’t running around with my hair on fire. My opinion, they’re the ones not dealing with the situation.

Scott W

Hi Derek,

Love your videos! This one is good. You have really developed the performance aspect in your videos. I watched an informative, but not nearly as entertaining youtube of one of your presentations from not too long ago and I think you are really finding your stride. Keep it up and dont hold back on the entertainment…it is Good.


Thanks for this. It was on point and exactly what I needed to hear today.

Hannah Ransom

I tend to not get upset about stuff I can’t control, or even stuff I fucked up myself. Eh, what are you going to do, it’s in the past. Just fix it quick and get on with it.

    Maggie Hall

    Derek is quite the professional. It shows in the language he uses.

    It’s one of the (many) reasons I tune in.


Recently I was on a red eye flight back from Hawaii and I had a project deadline in the morning. I knew I had time to complete the project, but I didn’t consider how bumpy the flight would be – I mean, I slept maybe 20 minutes the whole night, there was so much turbulence. There was no way I could concentrate enough to make my deadline.

Honesty and transparency always work best in these situations. I called the client, explained what had happened and asked for a half day extension so I could get a little rest and ensure I did my best possible work for her. It was no problem.

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