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If you struggle to keep in touch (and network) with people, THIS is the solution
Last Updated February 20th, 2014

You’re one connection away from tripling your business. One connection from finding your soul mate. One connection from getting a new job. Just one…

Now, sometimes you MEET that one connection. You know it’s right for you. And you know it’s right for them. But for some reason, you NEVER followup.

Networking can feel forced. Unnatural. Slimy, even.

So when I met people at events, and thought, “amazing. I better followup.” I didn’t.

Or other times I’ve traded emails with people and thought “Yea, I’ll followup. This could be good!” And I didn’t do that either.

My negative thoughts prevented me from finding that one connection that I needed to take what I’m doing to the next level.

Have you made the same mistake?

If yes, you’ll love this new video. I created a simple framework I call “The Followup Framework.” It’s a system that you can start using to ensure you followup with people. It’s easy and it takes the sleaze out of networking.

How to Keep In Touch With People

Now, let me ask you these two questions:

1. What do you say to people after you first meet them?

2. How would you like people to reach out to you after they meet you?

Shoot me an email or leave a comment on the blog post.

Also, if you’re looking to meet new people, I’ve got a video for that.

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97 comments Leave a comment
Jesse Best

Will be directing our new marketer here to devour all your content!
(Somehow we came here via the noah kagan blog, which is also great)

Thanks for all the great info Derek!



oops I realized that was not quite clear.. I haven’t had my morning coffee yet. I meant, once I email them back with the breakdown of what I do and pricing, and I don’t hear back.. how do I follow up?


Hey Derek

Thanks for always putting together great, valuable stuff! I have a question about following up with people who have requested info about your services.

After they’ve emailed me saying what they need, I’m not sure how to follow up (without being stalker-ish) if they haven’t. It could be that they’re busy, or turned off by pricing… or that they’ve forgotten.

Any suggestions wise one πŸ™‚ ?



Great stuff, Derek! How useful to have a framework for something that (to many) feels quite natural. The step I found most useful in your guidance here is scheduling a follow-up there and then! Like it!

Whilst I really like the idea of following up with providing a solution or some useful data, I have had some success following up when asking for an opinion or an opportunity to interview for an article I’m writing.

I wonder, Derek, if you have had any success with similar strategies?

Alan Dingwall

Hey Derek this is a great video! I’ve shared it on Twitter and I’m sure my followers will find it useful.

I would follow up with them via email just saying a quick:

“Hey it’s Alan we met [here]. I had a great time talking with you and just wanted to check up. How are you doing?”

Carl Donovan

Networking is one of those incredibly unappealing things that I’m finding I have to do in order to be successful. Frankly, I wish the work would just sell itself but, alas, it is not to be.

Marty Babits

I enjoyed the video. You shared some very solid tips. Thank you.


Nice video πŸ˜€ as you mentioned people are the most important thing/resource for an organization. follow up people and building connection with them will definitely affect favorably in the long run. i did the same mistake in the past now i’m not. i realized how important people for us. thanks for the information. cheers!!!

Konrad Sanders

Great video Derek, cheers!

Love your charisma! Just wondering: why do you think it’s best to follow up in a week or so, and not the same/following day?

Thanks mate


This was something I’ve been contemplating since I got back from my trip. I’ve met some people, but didn’t want to send a message at once… And when I got down to it, I was at a loss at what to write down. I inevitably went with “Nice meeting you.”

Thanks to these tips, I’ll definitely have more to say next time around, and at the good time frame, too. Thanks!

Miriam Ortiz y Pino

I recently received a book in the mail and I don’t know who it is from. Could it have been you?
Anyway! thanks for sharing this great tip – I use it myself and know it works. I will also sometimes ask “Is there anything I can help you with?” That one depends on the person and requires good rest so boundaries are not overstepped, but it has lead to some interesting things.


Derek, I really like exchanging emails with new, fun people I meet while networking. I especially love to follow up with them by sharing an article, video, photo, anything with them, that they expressed interest in while we were chatting at the event. It’s a great “ice breaker” and feels nice to offer up valuable content to someone out of the blue!


Great, and I do mean great, vid, Derek. I’m a fellow introvertie, heading off to a conference *tomorrow*. Did pre-event “recon” (aka stalking?) and initiated my SM reach out: “excited for your talk… it will help so many people understand more about… looking forward to saying hi after your talk…” And now I have the next step, thx! Follow up Framework — “a week or so from now after the craziness dies down” + “got anything new coming up?” + “nice meeting you.” Simple! Wrote these cliff notes down in a reminder timed just before the talk. Rock on with your bad self Derek and thx!

John Corcoran

Great advice, Derek. However, I find a bigger problem with following up is not the initial follow up after meeting for a first time, but remembering to follow up 3 months or 6 months later. At least in my experience, I usually will follow up with someone once right after I’ve met them, but then I often drop the ball after that.

So, rather than calendaring one manual reminder, I use a service that sends me reminders to follow up with people based off how frequently I want to follow up with them.

For someone I really want to get to know better, I might place them in a bucket to follow up every 30 days. For others, it might be every 90 days or every 6 months.

The service I use is called Contactually (I don’t work for them and am not being paid to mention them here), but you can use other CRMs as well like SugarCRM or Insightly.

I won’t be annoying and include a link to my site in this post but I’ve written about how I do this previously. I also use Rapportive and a Contactually Google Chrome add-on so that when I draft the initial follow up email, I can also categorize them (by 30 day follow up, 90 day followup, etc.) and I can connect on LinkedIn and Twitter, all in a few seconds and without opening multiple browsers.

Then I’m sent a reminder a few weeks or months later to follow up again so we can continue to deepen the relationship.

Malcolm Gladwell calls this “strengthening weak ties” and it is really soooo important in business.

I really like your advice about not asking for anything initially – you need to give, give, give first before asking for anything.

Maria Killam

Your videos are so awesome! Thanks for the great content, and I love that you wear colour! You stand out from the crowds! Maria


Good suggestions which I believe many feel find valuable. I agree with the most important premise of your message and that is to keep the conversation going and make it about them (unsure about adding it to your calendar in front of them – unless you excuse yourself for a moment with a different reason, but to each his own). This shows your interests in getting to know them better and people do like to talk about themselves (even introverts as we can clearly see here πŸ˜‰ )

Once trust is established and common ground and interests are formed there will be time for you to get your pitch in as well…patience.

Carlos Ramirez

Thanks Derek for the awakening of the courtesy, at this time the write reports, memos, including e-mails mannerly has been disappearing.

Scott Costello

I’m introverted and shy so just meeting people is always tough for me. And I am terrible at small talk. A lot of the questions people say they ask always seem so hokie and I’d feel like an idiot asking. That also goes for the follow up email. Your advise Derek on what to say was great though and I will use it.

My biggest failure by far is talking on the phone…nothing gets me more nervous. People always tell me that the more you do it the more comfortable you get. NOPE…always uncomfortable. Even when I talk with my friends on the phone I get nervous.

Haha…I think I just shared too much.

Great video Derek


    We all fight the same battles.
    Next time you network or have a network kind of call, just ask the other person to tell you what THEY do. After they talk about themself they will come away from the conversation thinking you’re a great guy. That’s human nature.
    Everyone has an opinion and most will talk about themself. So ask them.
    And if you are shy, hey, things could be worse. Be shy and enjoy yourself.



I always enjoy reading/watching your blogs. I am a social introvert lol FANTASTIC tips. What I love most about your content is how innovative your tips are as well as the ease of implementation. Keep up the awesome work πŸ™‚


You’re so right. Sending a simple nice-to-meet-you is wonderful, but it’s not enough. I liked your next step which is to offer something. What I offer is food. I cook for people I want to get to know by having dinner parties or tea parties (if you want to be simpler) and allow people I like to connect with other people they might want to meet or know. Networking takes so much effort and energy, but it can be fun too. And who doesn’t like chicken tandoori?

marquita herald

Great advice and I actually used to do this, but somewhere along the line got out of the habit. Great reminder. Introvert? Seriously?

Matthew Jeschke

Follow up is everything in Real Estate sales. However, I’m not big on following up in email. 9 times out of 10 it get’s dismissed. I ALWAYS call if I have a phone number or send a postcard. Infinitely better response. Yesterday I got another buyer through a simple 2 minute follow up call. Don’t make it more complicated that it is… It’s pretty simple.

I don’t open the call chatting my head off either. I open the call and say it was nice to meet you. And start asking them questions about Real Estate. Have you seen anything you like lately? How’s your search going? Then they open with the ANSWERS to how you can sell them. They tell you EXACTLY what they want. If there’s no way to move forward with the sale then… Simply say thanks for chatting with me, I wanted to see how I could help. I will follow up in a couple weeks to see where you are at then. If you need anything in the mean time, see something you like, etc call me.

I think the same format would work for most any business.

Mridu Parikh

This was awesome. Thank you!

Beatrix Willius

Great video. You as stalker made me laugh.

What did we do before we had smart phones?

Mark Fallon

Great stuff. Another tip for introverts when meeting people at conferences, if you want to be remembered, be INTRESTED, not interesting. You don’t have to talk about yourself, get the other person to talk about themselves.


Hi Derek,

What’s the plugin called that you used to make clickable links in your youtube videos? It’s awesome sauce!

Steve Dorfman

Taking an interest in “what’s next” for them. Excellent advice, Derek. We have a basic need to feel smart, important, and valued. (btw, I haven’t started using it yet, but I’m hearing really good things about Contactually)

Ron Lum

Derek, you’re always making up your own terms to describe your methods. It’s a wonderful thing that you do.

This is a great method. Thank you for sharing. I am pretty awful with followups, both personal and professional, and unfortunately, a relationship cannot build without good followup and continuing communication.

I was wondering why you suggest 5-10 days. I’m thinking followup too soon = “damn dude, I just met you!” and too late = “who are you again?”

Ira S.

Great video. The fortune is in the follow up. My firm’s growth in business referrals has been fuelled by our follow up program. However, rather than email, which is so common, we use an online tool called SendOutCards. By combining an old school method of a highly personalized note and greeting card, all automated with this hi tech tool, our referrals have grown dramatically. By using this tool for “Nice to Meet You”, “Happy Birthday”, “Congatulations” and “Happy Holiday”, we cement the personal relationship thereby growing our referral based business.

    Matthew Jeschke

    Hey thanks for the Card πŸ™‚ I got one as well. You’re not kidding, tangible, audible follow up as apposed to digital in a follow up is much more valuable. I am even finding knocking on doors is a much welcomed follow up now. I think everybody is leaning so heavily toward email and social marketing that people are getting a little burnt out on it. When I ask for information from cold leads, they are more likely to give me a name & phone number than an email anymore. Many people flat out say they will not share their email.

      Ira S.

      My pleasure Matthew. You hot it.be emails get lost in the shuffle, go to spam, get deleted, and EVERYONE is doing it. The point about getting those referrals is to be remembered above your competitors, and a single act of kindness in reaching out in a highly personalized and memorable way does the trick. I can’t believe that so many people in business just don’t get it. My simple snail mail cards has really increased my Firm’s referrals.

      Easy, inexpensive and memorable.. Continued success Matthew!

        Ira S.

        Darn autocorrect! You not it.be emails should read You got it. Emails…

    Steve Dorfman

    Ira, this is great. I’ve seen those cards and they’re pretty good. I’d challenge you to use them (additionally) for things that are a little more creative/personalized/unique than birthdays and holidays — something that other businesses aren’t already doing… Welcoming a new baby, Thanksgiving, daylight savings time reminders, etc. — a realtor friend just found out that we’re expecting a baby girl and within a day we found in our mailbox a pink onesy with his firm’s logo on it. Very cool, very unique. The thoughtfulness (and creativity) gave us a chuckle and we appreciate the gift.

      Steve Dorfman

      …got your cool card in the mail the other day, Ira. Well served, my friend. I’m impressed.

        Ira S.

        Glad you liked it Steve. That is exactly how we do our follow ups and staying in touch. No comparison to an email and I have found much better than taking them out for a meal, although we also do face to face marketing, of course. The meal ultimately ends up in the toilet, but the card stays in people’s minds and on their desks. So, when it comes time to be a buyer of our services, we are top of mind.

        Continued success Steve my friend.

Verena Czerny

Derek, thank you so much for your great content!
I just stumbled across this article on generosity as currency for relationships. Interesting?

Improve Your Networking Game With a ‘People Plan’

Best wishes. Verena.

Elly Klein

Thanks, Derek. This is great advice for me for Chris Guillebeau’s World Domination Summit in Portland in July. Can’t wait!

Connie Habash

Derek, you’re right on target again. I really, truly, highly dislike networking. Being introverted, and not a salesy-type, it’s just not my thing.

However, I’m going to a small networking luncheon with some other women tomorrow to share about my counseling practice and spiritual mentoring, and this is just the thing I needed to hear. Thank you so much!

(btw, when I write my book, I’ll remember that you enjoy receiving them!)

Desiree Fawn

I am so doing this.

I am absolutely terrible with names and I think this will help me put a name to the situation and person. Perfect.

Love it πŸ™‚


The best piece of advice I got on the follow-up was to give the other person something of value. As a student, I don’t have much to offer yet but along with my e-mail, I usually send them a Youtube video or an inspirational picture pertaining to something we talked about. Then I don’t feel bad about contacting them and they usually respond.

Marsha from YesYesMarsha.com


Sorry for getting all Meg Ryan on you, but I was VERY excited by this video. Amazing advice, and I absolutely LOVE that you laid out specific instructions and a script.

My favourite questions when I first meet people (and one I tell all my clients to use) are :

“How’s your week been so far?
What’s been the best thing that’s happened?”

This gets them talking about something passionate (which makes you both feel good), and often leads to a conversation about something that they love other than work – which can really help when you want to add value to them in the follow up email.

*Love* your suggestion of specifying when you’ll follow up, just genius.


John Russo

i find that a conversation sometimes leads to into a area where i can help someone. After a very informative interactive conversation i leave off giving ll my contact information and letting then person know I can answer many questions they may have. So I rely on them contacting me should they decline to give me their contact information.

Majority will never call, email or follow through.


This is really good. I’ll add something even better that I got from stephanie and jeff padovani from Book More Brides — after I meet someone or work with them, I mail them a photo postcard (yes, post office mail!) with a handwritten note about what we discussed. I love that because NOBODY does that – you’re sure to get remembered. (And maybe even end up with your photo on their fridge for a couple days!)

Christina Haftman

If you use Infusionsoft, check out their new SNAP app. Add a contact to Infusionsoft just by snapping a picture of their business card. Double-check its optical recognition for accuracy before adding to your database.


This was awesome. It’s a keeper and something to refer to every time I get the “Oh, I can’t do this, it’s sleazy, they don’t want to hear from me” blues. It’s like having an explicit guide, a how-to, what-to-say manual. “Hang on dude, lemmesee what I’m supposed to say next!”

Thank you so much! But now I really need to stop laughing and get back to work…”Derek…introverted”? TOOOO funny. Angela is right, you’re adorable, LOL


P S. Sending a gift like tea or a book to an opportunity is the best new tactic I’ve had for February.
Let’s see what you can do for us for March!

judy cullins

Derick, I love your brain and guts. I’m a real promoter too. But I know in networking, i’s all about the YOU ( other person), so I keep the “I” voice down and ask questions such as What’s your business? What do you love about it.Then, how does it benefit your primary audience?


This video is fantastic. “Networking” is something I just started working on right now, so this is timely advice.

Quick question about your video: How did you get a link to your newsletter sign-up to work? Last time I tried linking something from a youtube video, it only let me link to other videos. Is this a new feature, or is there some trick to get it to work?



I usually follow up people who attracted my attention.
I am using similar strategy like yours – I am trying to make them to talk about themselves – people love to talk about themselves. πŸ™‚
Derek, and I have a question for you – why in your videos the wall behind you is always white?
And whoever is your video director, congratulations. Good job.


Hey Derek,
Great vid. Right on the money. It’s a missed opportunity to not follow up with connections you’ve made. I’m usually pretty good but you’ve given pause to commit to working harder at it. Sometimes the first email may not work…of course we are all busy. I’m going to automatically schedule a follow up in a week if no response.
Cheers, Brent

connie curtis

After I meet someone. I usually say would like to hear more about your business or what your creating. usually we are interested in something that is common interest. I do think I jump the gun in seeing how we can partner with each other too soon maybe.

I would love for someone to contact me by phone or email after I meet them

    Connie Habash

    From another Connie, here, I can relate to jumping the gun on partnerships. I took a business teleclass and we were encouraged to do JVs, so I was messaging a lot of people from the group suggesting we talk about it, before I really got to know them and what they do. Short story is that I didn’t end up working with many of them.

    Suggesting to get to know their business better and what they are creating, and Derek’s suggestion of offering something that would be helpful to them are great ideas without making any promises. Thanks, Connie.

Cy Khormaee

Ben – I had this same problem. I started to just send articles that they would find relevant/interesting. Ideally this would add some value/enjoyment to their life and open the door for an update/conversation. Eventually, we built a platform to automate this process of staying in touch (getcontastic.com).


    Looks like my problem is exactly why you created Contastic. I’ll check it out Cy.

Nathan Gotch

Solid advice Derek! I sometimes struggle following up with people, but this is the perfect framework to fix it for sure. Thanks man

– Gotch

Tazim Damji

I like this idea! I usually make a connection on LinkedIn and add how we met and any notes within a few days.

I would like to connect to people on Twitter, tooβ€”and hope people will keep the conversation going in this way after we meet.

I like your idea about tea and books. Makes me wish we could get connected! Those are very thoughtful. I kind email asking how things are going for someone and what they got the most out of from the conference or course we took together is how I usually follow up.

Debbie Catalina

Absolutely awesome. Exactly the little tweek that my style has been needing.


Good stuff, like always, Derek.

I see your videos have been getting better and better, including the clothes you wear. That’s a sign of success.

PS. Nice belt!


I appreciate this video. I hope you continue to extend this from how to meet people, how to follow up from a meeting, to keeping in touch. I do pretty well at the first two, but keeping in touch with people over the long haul has been more challenging.

What do I say, email, etc. someone 3, 6, 0r 12 months out? I’ve tried the ‘been a while since we talked, what’s new?’ emails but those seem to be useless. They tell me what they are up to, I tell them what I’ve been up to, and then we part ways again just to do it again later. Who cares?

When and how is the best way to leverage the connection for mutually beneficial economic gain?

Steve MoneyPlanSOS Stewart

This one sentence will help anyone start a conversation: “What’s keeping you busy.”

I use this all the time and it works wonders!

    Marsha from YesYesMarsha.com

    OOH. That’s a great one!


    I like that line!

The Get In Shape Girl

I’m proud of myself for being ahead of the game! Anytime I meet people I put their cards in a stack. As I unpack and re-organize I shoot them all emails saying it was nice meeting them!

Roger Deveau

LOL Oh man, Derek. Your videos always make me laugh. It’s almost a bonus that they are filled with great content as well!

Thanks once again.



Did you just say “introverted like me”? I cant be the only person who finds it hard to believe!

    Emma - My Bespoke Chair

    Derek is such a jokester! Introverted…. – love it.

    Connie Habash

    Did Derek say that and I missed it? No way! But then, a lot of people are surprised to find that out about me, too.


Great advice, Derek, BUT waiting 5-10 days to re-connect? Aren’t we pretty much out of mind by then? Will they remember you or me? I like to respond when that “new meeting maybe there’s something here energy” is still in both of our minds. Why the delay?
ALSO: It’s hard for me to match the bus cards later with their faces. Have a trick for that?
Many thanks, as always,

    Marsha from YesYesMarsha.com

    Jay, *I* have a trick for that. Two, actually.

    The easiest is Rapportive.com, a free app for gmail that shows you links to any social media connected to that person’s email address – and any photos. Gold-dust when you get an email and can’t remember who they are, and useful for sending them too!

    The other is, as you part from them, scrawl down on the back of the business card a few things about what they look like, and a few things that you talked about. Usually the combination of the two should spark something!


      Thanks, Marsha from YesYesMarsha! I’ll investigate that app, Rapportive.com. That sounds really helpful πŸ˜‰ I can imagine using one of the related links to springboard

        Marsha from YesYesMarsha.com

        Dude, it’s the total BEST for any kind of networking – I make all my clients download it. Because it usually links to their twitter & linkedin, you can have a poke around and see what they’re into, which helps with finding an link/some data you can send them that they’d find interesting.

        Glad it was of help!

          Marsha from YesYesMarsha.com

          I do actually have thoughts – as Derek pointed out, doing it straight off the bat, your email will get lost in a ton of others/their travel time etc.

          I hear you on the energy, but I think that, as long as you put yourself in context (by reminding them where you met, who you were with and mentioning one thing you spoke about) – and you put a link to your website under your name – then waiting 5-10 days makes you stand out from everyone else that followed up. ESPECIALLY if you also add some value to them in the form of a link to something they’d be into.


          Thanks, my advisor, you rule. [Though I still don’t get waiting 5-10 days to connect. Any thoughts there?

Angela Todd

I never thought I would accuse you of being adorable, but this video is very charismatic and engaging! I’m awful at networking and it’s been on my ‘to do list’ for a long time. Having a script of sorts helps, thank you so much!
Angela (oldladyarchivist-turned-maker)


Great strategy. Anyone would welcome this kind of approach. Thanks for sharing it!


Great video! I love all the tips. I’m just starting out in business for myself, so time will tell…

When I meet people at a conference, I’ll reach out to them on LinkedIn ASAP. Then I follow-up via email after things have died down and try to give them some information that will help them and demonstrate I listened.

My signature block on my emails always includes an invitation to sign up for my newsletter and lets them know what’s coming up next month.


Following up with a question like “are you launching anything new or going to any other event?” is a great follow-up icebreaker because it sparks a conversation.

Thank you for this simple yet super powerful tidbit!

Raphael Ricardo

Awesome tips,Thank you again for providing Great value on Socialtriggers

Diego Lucero

This is extremely helpful. This is something that I have I have trouble with.

When I did door-to-door cold call direct sales, my sales manager would do something similar, but with index cards.

He would make conversation, with the goal of getting them to like him, all while trying to get the sale.

Regardless ofthe turnout, after each meeting, he would write down all pertinent and relevent information onto a 3×5 index card (name, #, email, address, conversation topics, including any names of people or events that were mentioned – like family or employer or locations etc.). Then he would file their index card into a small index card organizer, and as apart of his daily routine, contact each one while mentioning the things that they talked about.

This helped him to really “connect” with his clients, which helped them to remember him and his sales offer. His strategy was to get them to like him enough to remember him and what he had to offer and help them to solve that very specific problem they talked aboutOn each meeting. It worked wonders.

This technique helped him to sell 300+ accounts for previous 4 years in a row and about 330 for that year.

Awesome blog post Derek. Love it.

    Abby Robey

    Though we live in an electronic age, I still like paper and I love the index card approach. Also, remembering a small detail about people — names of children, hobbies – is a big deal providing it’s really genuine.

      Diego Lucero


      If I were to use this technique today β€” it would probably be using my smartphone and an app like Trello to organize it.

Peg McMahan

Excellent advice from an introvert for other introverts. I took notes and plan to use them A LOT! I like telling her I’ll send an email and then entering a reminder in my phone right then. It’s a visual that helps her remember who I am when she gets my email.

Going to meetings is overwhelming – after a while, all I can think of is how to get out of there. But if I can make two or three new acquaintances who might turn into clients or friends, I’ll be happy. I’m moving to a new community in the next month or so, so I’m going to be doing a lot of networking. I’m deeply introverted…..


Great video!

After I meet people, listen to them speak and have a great conversation, I say, “I’d like to meet for coffee and hear more about you and your business.” Or I say, “I’d love to send you my book (or case study) because I believe it will help you with (fill in the blank.)”

I prefer to be reached via email. But text, Skype and phone are okay.

Guy Ferdman

I’m always blown away to hear that people like you (who are such good presenters and have charisma) believe themselves to be introverts. I’m not exception, but it blows my mind — especially with you my brother!

Bea Kylene Jumarang

Great video, Derek! This is something I do a lot.

When I meet someone new, usually when our coffee arrives, I pause and set my calendar reminders to follow up. If I “meet” them by reaching out through email, I ask if I can follow-up in about a month or so, just to keep in touch. They say yes, and I find that them giving the permission actually raises the number of times they write back. I think it’s got something to do with the fact that they gave the permission, I didn’t just email flood them.

When meeting new people at a new place or event, I always like to ask them what brought them there. It’s a nice, friendly, non-scary question. I also bring out little tiny index cards and tell them, “Hey, I think we’re really hitting it off. Your stories are grabbing me. Mind if I take notes?”

Usually they’re flattered, and the index cards are key. Because after I meet someone, I like to send them a quick email with links to some good articles that pertain to their interests, which they shared with me and I took note of. Sometimes I send physical gifts – mugs, nice pens if they’re writers like me, a box of coffee if they like it, etc.

And how I prefer others to reach out – I like to get quick emails or a call. Like you, I also love getting books. And a box of good tea is always deeply appreciated, particularly if it’s Harney and Sons.

Well, that’s my 2 cents on it. Nice to know you’re a fellow tea fan, and thanks for this. I appreciate it, as with all your other great content.

PS. Thanks for being my path to Marie Forleo. The woman is aces, and her MarieTV episodes always have me laughing at embarrassingly high levels.


Nice video.
What do I think? You know how they say you have to bring something to someone’s attention seven or eight times before it penetrates and they get interested? Well that implies a strategy, a campaign – and not just a one shot yes/no interaction.

And it seems to me that that is the approach you are taking here.

And when you think of the interaction as a longer haul, then the desired outcome of the first contact is less of hurdle – and that makes it easier to send the email or make the call… and the next call, and the one after that.

Hashim Warren

Derek, I watched this video and made a Trello template for networking

Anyone can copy that board and use your advice to network with people.

Devesh Khanal

This is one of the BEST social triggers videos I’ve seen so far. Great unique specific advice on a topic that has been written on SO MUCH. Glad it arrived right as I was taking a lunch break.

1. What I say: I use an oft quoted piece of advice and often say: “I remember you talked about ___, here’s an article/site I found that talks about the same thing.” I once had a senior executive I met say “Wow, Devesh, thanks for remembering me” when I did this.

2. If someone actually remembered anything I said and offered a solution or gave me an update on what has happened to them since we talked about it, I’d be wowed.

Derek, I’m going to use the book technique this weekend…


Derek, after I meet someone, I usually just say “It was an absolute pleasure speaking with you. What is the best means for us to continue communication in the future?” It’s simple, it’s effective, and it is a comfortable way to close the conversation for everyone involved. Thanks, Brandon.

Matthew Kostanecki

Sometimes the simplest solutions are the most effective! A tool that may help with this strategy is using boomerang for gmail. It lets you send messages in advanced and/or set reminders.

To be honest, besides the common pleasantries, I never really thought of what I say to people after I first meet them. Liking the idea of telling them I’ll follow up, though!

I think I usually take on more of a listening / asking questions approach and let them tell me about themselves. Sometimes though, you get locked into one of those awkward situations where the other party doesn’t stop talking…

Anyone else been in one of those situations? How do you politely break it off without being rude?

    Louis Teoh

    The trick I used is I’ll pretend I’ve received an incoming call and I’ll speak louder enough for them to hear what I said and I usually would say this into my mobile : “Oh, I’m so sorry I totally forgot about our appointment. Ok. I’m coming over right now. Thanks for the reminder”
    So, when they hear this, I can politely excuse myself and scoot off. Viola!!!
    Hope that helps.


      Alex Schriewer

      The fake phone call. This is exactly what I used to do myself. Until I forced myself to stop escaping from these situations and tried to engage with the other person. That means breaking up the monologue by asking questions. Especially when I have no clue what the other person is talking about. So either the questions are so dumb that even the most self absorbed person realizes that I am obviously the wrong person to talk to or I get to learn something. Often these people don’t really expect someone to be interested, they just keep talking out of insecurity. Showing some interest can change the game. Just my 2 cents.

        Matthew Kostanecki

        I think you’re right about the insecurity and I like the idea of showing interest! Thanks Alex!

      Matthew Kostanecki

      Nice! Although, that one might be hard to pull off without the other person feeling they’re getting blown off.

Laura Fuentes

This was fantastic. I was just telling my students at Loyola two nights ago about HOW to follow up! and why they should. YOU ROCK. I just sent your video to the entire class.

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