Networking is a dirty word, but as most people will tell you, it’s rarely “what you know, it’s who you know.”
So if you’re looking to build an influential network, here’s what you need to know:
Thing #1
To build that network, you’ll need to know how to make introductions between your friends and colleagues the right way.
(The people who introduce get introduced).
Thing #2
You’ll need to BECOME the person people want to introduce to their friends and colleagues.
(If your friends are friends with important people, they don’t want to waste their time… even if it will help you).
Well, in today’s video and article, I’ll show you how to do thing #1 and thing #2.
How to Make Introductions The Right Way
Let’s start off with introductions.
When you’re looking to get ahead in business and your career, you’ll likely introduce friends and colleagues.
Helping people by way of introduction is one of the highest leverage activities you can do… if you do it right.
The big problem is that most people make introductions the wrong way…
…and that’s why I filmed this video. So I can show people how to do it the right way.
Now You’re Probably Wondering “How Can This Help ME Meet The Right People?”
Now that you know the right way to make introductions between your friends and colleagues…
…it’s up to you to become the person people WANT to introduce to their friends and colleagues.
Why?
Because…
The Six Degrees of Separation
Have you heard the expression “Six degrees of separation?” If yes, bear with me a sec.
Long story short, six degrees of separation is the theory that everyone is six (or fewer) steps away from anyone in the world.
That means, a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend is Bill Gates. Or Warren Buffett. Or Justin Bieber.
So, if you become the person your friends want to introduce to their friends, you can literally meet anyone.
Just imagine how GREAT that would be for getting ahead in your business or career.
The question is, how can you become that person?
The TRUTH about Personal Branding
When you’re starting out in business (or the career world), you might be tempted to tell everyone what you’re capable of…
“I’m Jan. I’m a web designer, have an arts and crafts store, do freelance editing, and [blah blah blah].”
People do this because they’re just starting out and they don’t want to miss out on opportunities.
I get it.
Here’s the problem:
When you introduce yourself in such a way, people rarely remember what you do.
And if people don’t remember what you do, they’ll never think of you to introduce.
Now, contrast that with how I started out introducing myself in the marketing world.
“I’m Derek, and I show people how to triple their conversion rates on their blog.”
It was much more concise. And specific.
And that’s why, when I first got started, people freely introduced me to everyone they knew.
Because they knew I could help them. And they knew I wanted to build my network.
It was THAT simple.
So, here’s what I want YOU to do:
First, do you believe meeting the right person can propel someone from where they are to where they want to be? Share your opinion in the comments.
Second, I’d love to hear what you’d like to become KNOWN for. And why. Try to be concise and specific.
Additionally, when writing your statement, write it as if you’re writing to a 12 year old.
Can meeting the right person propel your career? Yes!
I believe being associated with someone established can raise your reputation simply by proximity. In music for example, many times you will learn about a new artist because they are featured in a more popular artist’s song.
Also, you can easily learn from these people and follow the same steps they took to achieve success.
Me? I would like to be known as a man who creates awesome media and art. Its hard to simplify since I do so much, but at the end of the day I just want to have a reputation like Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlene.
Hello every one, here every one is sharing these know-how, thus it’s good to
read this weblog, annd I use to pay a visit this weblog everyday.
When introducing and generally when talking, use “you” more than “I”. Use their name every so often. Greet them first if you have a chance. Tell them about news they might not know but could be interested in (and don’t overdo it to the point of appearing servile or boring). Then make it short and have them want to talk to you more than they feel you want to talk to them. Studies have shown people prefer others whom they see more often over those they see less often. Bosses promote those that go to lunch with them rather than saying “’I’ll follow in a minute, let me just finish this eMail”. Finish the eMail later (unless it’s urgent), meet people regularly but not for too long each time. Ten times ten minutes is about five times more powerful than one time a hundred minutes.
Everyone should watch this video. As a tax accountant I often receive introductions to people who are either looking for free tax advice or looking to network. By network I mean they are just looking for referrals. I perceive no value from them because I receive a generic introduction like “hey we should meet up to see how we can help each other”. We are all busy so I don’t know why people want to waste an hour getting coffee with no real agenda.
Hey Derek, I love your posts and you are killing it lately, brother! We are speaking the same language and you keep throwing absolute GOLD at your audience. I write a lot about personal branding, networking, and connecting myself. I gave you a shout out today on my blog as someone I admire doing awesome things along with Marie Forleo and Lewis Howes. I love the work you are doing with Marie and it keeps me super motivated. But we all have to remember that you had to start somewhere and I can only imagine all the struggles you went through to build your brand. Would love to connect some time!
I know for a fact that connecting with people and building those relationships can propel you forward because I’ve seen it first hand. I had the pleasure of meeting the author of “Never Eat Alone” and “Who’s Got Your Back”, Keith Ferrazi because my father-in-law is good friends with him. (there’s the power of connection right there 🙂 ). After getting turned on to the idea of connecting with people for connection sake and not going at it just to see what I could get out of it, a whole new way of thinking opened up to me. I just wish a whole lot of other people would catch on. I hate it when I try to connect with someone and ask them if they’d like to meet up sometime and they act all stand-offish. I know it’s a product of others approaching them selfishly in the past, but dude, I just want to get to know you, not dig my hand into you pocket and take your wallet. Haha. When all is said and done, I would like to be known for being great at connecting with people and connecting those people to others in a way that leaves them all better for knowing me. I think that there is no greater way to influence the world for the better than to cultivate great relationships.
I truly believe that a person, often older and more experienced than you, can give you advice that will help you grow quicker. He/she has probably gone through the same things you are going through right now and can (because most people make mistakes and learn from them) give you guidance how to avoid doing the same errors he/she did. It’s okay do do errors (see) but if you can help it by asking someone for advice it’s even better. To do that will save you some time. Believe it was Stephen R Covey who wrote something like… sharpen your axe before you start cutting down your tree.
Right now I want to become known for helping people finding these persons that can help them grow.
Derek, You are adorable.
Hi, I’m Maggie. And I teach people how to get rid of toxins and gain more energy.
Thank you for sharing your expertise.
I’m Jessica, and I’d like to be known as the business trainer who can help new entrepreneurs plan and launch their retail, online or service-based business in 12 weeks or less.
Brilliant content for the day, Derek. Thank you for the great insights. I’m definitely sharing this post on Facebook. I think you are hilarious and right on target with helping others. Keep up the great work.
To Your Success,
Stacie Walker
Hi Derek, I loved the way you explained how people should introduce themselves. It’s very clear to me now. We shouldn’t say “I am this…” instead we should focus on how we can benefit people. Only then, people will sit up and take notice of us. I hope I have understood the point.
Hi Derek. My question, I have an idea for a new blog. Where do I come up with topics to write about?
This will be my first attempt at blogging. New blog means no one to spy on. I’ve watched all of your video and I’m just about ready. I really love this one. I’m still green on a few things. That one question is my sticking point.
I think it is true that meeting the right person introduces opportunities that otherwise go undetected. I think we have the ability to line ourselves up for these meetings when we stand in confidence in ourselves and our message. Lack of self-confidence keeps us in the shadows.
My intention is to be known as the woman who saw a brain tumor as the ultimate gift from the Universe that allowed her to inspire others to see all their challenges as amazing opportunities.
Love your work Derek – thank you!
All your vids speak to me – but this one you got me, how I introduce myself is my achilles heal and have shot myself in my foot, for either avoiding it, or saying what I do rather than how i can help – or I can become a bit waffly, the work I offer is in the spiritual/healing realms…I would love some suggestions of how i can share what i offer in a nut shell…cheers Yvonne 🙂
I believed it before reading the post. I help people sell amusement equipment and related items. And I am starting to become known as Mr. midway. thanks for the post, max
Great stuff as usual. In response to the call to action: “I’m Mike Skiff, and I help people achieve the most important leadership trait: emotional intelligence.”
Another key difference I noticed in Jan’s intro vs Derek’s intro was that Jan’s was all about what she did vs Derek’s was about how he helped people.
With that in mind, here’s my attempt:
Hi, I’m Christina. I help people embrace all of who they are.
I’m a bit of a go to gal for all manner of things (health, beauty, writing, selling…blah) and I’m often on the end of ‘bad connections. “hey my friend wants some (free) advice on______ and I said they could contact you”
Like I have a million hours each day to work for free!
Always ask permission before sending a well meaning friend to someone else for free help 😉
Another helpful and ‘cut through the cr*p’ vidski from fabulous Derek!
Great Video!
I believe that meeting the right people can make a huge difference in how fast you get to where you want to be in your business. I have been very fortunate in meeting James Wedmore, Melanie & Devin Duncan & Michael Stelzner who have all mentored me on my journey to becoming the Instagram Gal.
I love being a go to person who helps connect others so that they too can advance in business.
There has been no better time to network than now. Social Media has increased transparency and people are playing “nicer” than they ever have.
I totally agree with Derek on the “it has to be a win-win”. If the person asking for the connection is self-aware, they should know the answer before they ask the question. Don’t be afraid to tell someone “NO”, and that you do not feel comfortable being the middle man.
Im so glad I suscribed to your newsletter.
Always good stuff!
oh Btw Im Esteban and I help people to get in the best shape of their lives in a brutal and effective way.
Love this Derek! You are so right on.
I absolutely hate it when people make intros without asking for permission first. Sure, it is more efficient, but it definitely damages the relationship.
The most valuable asset that busy people have is their TIME. By making these unsolicited intros, you are taking away that busy person’s most valuable asset. Even if the busy person says “no, I’m too busy”, he still has to take the time to compose the response. Plus, he is probably feeling bad for letting the friend down by not meeting up with the random person. This takes up mental energy, which is another form of that busy person’s most valuable time.
I love this, Derek. When you are the person just starting out, who’s looking for an introduction to someone more established, how can you position yourself to be of value to them?
Connections and introductions should be genuine. When they mesh it forms longer lasting collaborations that are meaningful. Intros based on things like I think you’ll like each other are superficial and do not bring long term value.
Look at some of the great musical groups in history. Their success is based on the ability to work and sound well together. Pete Best was the original drummer for the Beatles but their style did not mesh. In came Ringo Starr and the rest is history. The right introductions can produce great things.
Absolutely agree with what you said Derek – I had been introduced to someone who needed my help and there was no real explanation or background (or screening as you said). It is very important to set the basis right so that both parties know what they are to talk about when they get on that call.
I’m Jennifer and I help individuals with their personal brand and help corporations improve professionalism through image.
Derek where was this post last night when I met Marie Forleo. Noooooo!
Hi Derek,
I do believe that meeting the right person has the power to propel. I would like to be known for helping other small businesses increase their sales through blogging and email marketing. I’ve made it a point to be consist with my personal blog and email marketing by blogging weekly and sending an email campaign to my list weekly. Off to make some connections the right way!
Great points, Derek. Besides the video, I love the commentary. When we’re trying to introduce ourselves, we often blurt out what we do like people actually care. Yeah, not so much when they first meet you.
I’d like to be known for giving great customer service and teaching easy paper crafting projects with a cute dog by my side. What can I say? It’s just the way we roll!
Very true! People don’t really care about what your job title is or what you have but they really care how would you benefit them! Nice article Derek!
Yes! I’m in the beginnings of my freelance career and every paid gig has come through knowing people and being able to offer them my gifts and skills.
As for my dream…I’m Kait and I want to be the person female cancer survivors turn to for actionable sex and relationship advice.
YES!!!
I *HATE* when people do unsolicited email intros! I used to be a radio host & music supervisor for TV, and for YEARS people would unsolicitedly introduce me to others who wanted help for free. Eventually I learned to write back saying, “I’d be happy to speak to you! Here’s the hourly rate for my consulting fee”.
My one sentence:
I help people make friends with others who can help them get a better job or get more business.
(12 year olds don’t always know what “networking” means, why so many people hate it, and why you’d need to show them ick-free ways to do it).
Thanks for this, off to share it!
for sure, the right contacts are indeed pretty nice to have when needed, i love value you bring us derek, thanks
i’d like to be remembered as the dude who makes 10 percent return over investment per month working 30 mins per day
YES, an introduction to the right person can propel your business or career forward like turning on a jet engine! One introduction to one individual who wrote one check saved me two years of slugging it out working and going to university. I was able to cut two years off my plan because of that encounter. Launched my career that much sooner! Woo hoo!
Appreciate these words of wisdom RE introductions. Pre-screening shows respect and honors both parties.
I want to be known as the author who writes about joy & high sensitivity and in plain English, makes sense of brain science AND the Bible.
Great article Derek… as always!
I’m Tim and I help non-profits and religious organizations use social media and email to create streams of income.
I’ve always asked both parties for permission. Since I was a kid. I thought everyone knew that.
Great stuff Derek! Many times I’ve heard the expression that it’s not what you know but who you know.
In some cases I believe that meeting the right person can propel you to where you want be. For instance, when someone graduates college and tries to look for a job, most employers want to hire someone with experience. It’s a common catch 22: the college graduate cannot get a job without experience, yet cannot get experience without first landing a job. In a case like this, networking and meeting the right person could help the graduate land the job he/she is looking for.
In the world of entrepreneurship, networking can have it’s benefits. In my case I run an online business that involves logo design, web design, and SEO. I may run into someone in my local area who either needs a website/logo or knows someone that needs one.
As far as for me and my online business, I would like to be known as the lower cost choice for entrepreneurs who need high quality logo design, their own business website, or help with improving an existing website in terms of SEO.
Absolutely true. I had a life-changing career experience from being in the right place at the right time. I had an illustration I drew on my desk one day and an important director happened to walk by and see it.
HIM: “Did you draw this?”
ME: “Yes, I did, just a scribble, really.”
HIM: “I like the way you think. See me tomorrow and I’ll get you out of this office.”
I did and he kept his word. He tripled my income and I ended up meeting numerous CEOs and directors of dozens of companies through my relationship with him.
Thanks Derek for this video….I can’t tell you how many of my contacts send me and email introduction to someone else without asking me first. It’s so annoying because it’s obvious to me that the introduction only benefits the other person. It’s a complete drain on my limited time! I’m going to send people this video now! 🙂
Yes, I believe that connecting with the “right” person and the “right” time can make an enormous difference. BUT, as the saying goes, “You have to ask the bus to come, and then run like hell to catch it!” In other words, you better be prepared when you are introduced to the “right” person!
My dream is to create American made artistry tees that become YOUR favorite tees; a relic that collects meaningful, crazy, wistful stories to tell over time.
Great tip, the secret is in simplicity, having something concise that people can remember and pass it on. Thanks for the video!
Concise yet thorough.. and frickin’ brilliant, Derek!
I’m assuming you’re also hinting at everyone who wants to connect on LinkedIn for the sake of creating a large network of “people they know”.
It’s not “people I can help” or “mutually beneficial relationships”, but just connections – those are like opinions.
And what’s that phrase about opinions being like a body part… 😉
Hi Derek,
I really respect and appreciate your work. Relationships with the right people are always valuable.
Just on an aside, when becoming a barrister in Northern Ireland many moons ago, I had to study with a Master (that is, a barrister who was over 10 years practising the profession) for 6 months before I was fully qualified. This is known as a pupillage and follows 4 years of full time study.
I learned far more about the practical side of practising law from this relationship with my mentor in these 6 months than I did in the 4 years of study.
I can answer your answer straight away without looking at the video. I heard something very insightful last year (was it from you?): If you don’t earn enough money, meet more people; money comes through people.
You could replace “money” with “influence” or whatever your currency of choice is.
Now I’ll go and watch the video anyway as it probably has some pearls of wisdom!
Derek, I’m not sure how you’re able to subconsciously market, but you made an appearance in my dreams last night, if only to show me how to maximize my attic storage. In any case, I couldn’t ignore your email today and let all the goodness sink in. Networking works! Even in my dreams:)
That’s so weird Amy, I had a dream once I was at a coffee shop with Derek, and he was telling me some really important information but when i woke from the dream, I couldn’t remember anything he said. Glad I’m not the only one where he shows up on dreams… It’s a little weird!
Well, yeah, introductions in the business world is all about reciprocal benefits to each other. In the harried world of work, it’s business affairs first. If a personal friend comes from it, great, but that is secondary. Derek, in his own concise way, has simple topics well explained with common sense. Kudos!
Derek, I love your tips! My issue is that I can’t even get people to go to my site. Have the opt-in forms,but only three subscribers….and one of them is myself. I know (so sad, lol). The other person is my sister. I’ve been wracking my brain trying to figure out how to use SEO optimization, etc. any advice would rock……and, yes, go ahead make fun if me. I’m a noob!
A little details: sub-headlines would make you article more appealing and easier to read. If you use the right h1 and h2 settings for them, that could even help the SEO (to a degree).
Thanks, Michael. I have a new post I’m editing right now. I’ll try that out. 🙂 I appreciate your tips!
Sorry, Derek. This comment was for another one of your videos. Probably why it doesn’t make sense. OOPSY.
Tara – I’d say, on the contrary, this is a great blog to be writing it under, as maybe giving – and subsequently getting – introductions to influencers could be the answer to that problem!
I did over email. This girl created something than the person wanted me to do and I had told the person who introduced us what I was looking for. It didnt get cleary communicated so even or email. I felt put on the spot turning the person down because it just didnt work for me too. I am starting a business so I havent had to deal with this much yet. Its me reaching out to create potential partnerships with people I know from the work they have done.
I am plagued by bad introductions. People are CONSTANTLY emailing me saying, “You should talk to so-and-so” when, in all honesty, so-and-so isn’t going to help me. Instead, the person making the introduction has essentially volunteered my time without asking me (and, in turn, they look good). I’m always asked to help someone figure something out FOR FREE, without my permission.
In the end, I have to respond to the introducer privately by saying, “Moving forward, I would appreciate it if you asked me first before making such an introduction. I am usually happy to help, however I also need to be mindful of my time commitments.”
When making introductions, I think we have to be clear on the different between a mutually beneficial connection, and a favor for one party.
That’s a good phrase. “PLagued by bad introductions.”
First Question: Yes, I do believe it is possible. I just had this happen recently where I was introduced to a few very influential people in the horsemanship industry. It is great because now they are also aware of me and very interested in what I am doing and why. It helps to motivate me because their influence can help me reach a much broader audience with an elevated level of respect if I have their backing and support.
Second Question: I want to be known as THE place to go for real horsemanship wisdom in every equestrian discipline, and that it is an honor and a privilege to be chosen to share that with my audience.
Hope you are well!
GREAT!
And nice seeing you !
If the gospel of networking had an evangelist, it would be my mother! Networking opens up so many doors of incredible opportunity that in business and life, it would be utterly foolish to ignore this powerful resource. I have a friend who always introduces me to his network of friends, and judging by this video, he does it right, because he consults me first, and does the same with the person he wants me to meet. Now it’s really on my radar. Thank you Derek!
Love to hear it!
Hey Derek,
This is so simple but so valuable. I tend to to trust my instincts with this kind of thing, however I like the pre screening idea to combine with my instinct, it’s more considerate to the people being introduced to give them a reason along with ‘I have a feeling you guys should talk’.
Thanks I enjoy your videos!
Penny
Yep, you do have to trust instincts. But permission never hurts. It also lets them know its coming so you’re not blind siding them when they may be real busy.
Do I think connections can propel you forward? You bet your a** I do. My current job is a direct result of having some conversations with one of my Karate students.
As for what I would like to be known for:
My name is Brandon, I teach people how to defend against interpersonal violence.
Perfect.
YES, meeting the right people can absolutely propel you forward in both personal and business settings. Great info, Derek!
What do I want to become KNOWN for?
I pay schools and nonprofits to help them dramatically increase their auction fundraising revenues.
Yes, I actually pay them, not the other way around.
Would love to hear how that works.
Derek, it’s all based, coincidentally, on PSYCHOLOGY (ring any bells?) combined with a completely disruptive model that our competitors hate and our clients love, revolving around online auction/mobile bidding fundraising technology.
All of your material is incredibly useful and applicable and I’m LOVING Blog that Converts!! (If any of you are thinking about signing up for this – DO IT! – it applies to far more than just blogs!!)
I use what you teach to help market my services and I use a simple 3rd-party funding model to enable our clients to keep 100% of their auction proceeds (our competition takes up to 50% of an org’s money as their fee). Then I match up to 8% of the auction revenues, leaving my clients netting up to 108% of their auction proceeds (this is how I pay THEM).
Most organizations do everything backwards (and often fail) regarding their auction fundraisers – because they don’t understand and leverage both donor and bidder psychology. If you’re a non profit reading this – you need to pay attention to Derek!
Quick example: One client held their own auctions and raised about $9K every year from $15K retail value in inventory. Their first year with us we helped them understand bidder psychology and leverage that to reach a much broader audience (for free), netting them almost $25K on the same amount of inventory. They kept every penny.
Derek – THANK YOU for sharing all your great tips and advice. Soooo worthwhile – both for me AND my clients!! Please keep up the great work!
I am appreciative of this post and even more appreciative to see the community talking and really sharing tips and ideas.
Can’t oversell yourself. Ease it in with time. But very wise words. Stop giving people your laundry list. Pick one thing and stick with it!
Exactly
Nice video Derek,
It’s funny because I was just listening to an interview you did with “Charm” on youtube and you spoke about this exact thing. One of my favorite bits was when you briefly spoke about how people introduce themselves and give a long explanation of what they do, and then you can’t remember what you do.
I totally agree that it should be short, clear, and concise when it comes to telling people what you do. This totally connects with your Unique Selling Proposition which I know you talk alot about but majority of people don’t take this into consideration when it can make life alot simpler.
I know I’m still trying to pin point my USP as a 3D Artist since I know alot of people don’t understand what I do. Anyways, keep up the great work and loving your content.
Yes, i’ve definitely talked about this before. Mainly because it’s THAT important. And focus less on what you do and more on how you help people.
Great thoughts! The business world could use more tips of proper networking.
Nothing worse than when people try to connect others just to satisfy their own ego!
Yeah.. but if you were to see the video on the flip side, you should never ask your friend to introduce you to someone unless you truly believe that you can do justice to the requirements of all involved.
Oops! Guilty of doing this the wrong way a few times. I’m glad you gave actionable steps for how to do this the right way. I’ve also been introduced the wrong way a few times and yeah, it did irk me a little bit.
Business relationships that are worth it and will work well are totally worth the finesse.
Now what are you going to do today 😉
Nice one Derek! Especially love the points in your video about always getting permission before introducing two or more contacts in your network.
The higher level the people are that you want to intro, the more important it is to get permission. I like to think of it like a double-opt-in feature for an email list. It makes you look better and the people you’re connecting will see you as someone they can trust.
My company makes connections between tech companies and the entertainment industry. If I don’t introduce parties who stand to mutually benefit from know each other, it’s a waste of time. For example, if I make a worthless intro between a startup and the head of biz dev for a huge management company in the music industry, my relationship with that management company can be damaged.
Also, to your point about personal branding: I recently heard one of Nick Onken’s Shop Talk Podcasts, where he was interviewing a guy named “Matthew Loyd”. Matthew is a branding expert and the founder of Mosey.com
I love the way he described what a brand is: “A Brand is a Point of View”.
This can be applied to someone’s personal brand by figuring out what it is they do and can contribute, then getting that into concise language, as you say.
All of this stuff is very important for anyone who is looking to be influential.
It’s funny. The permission part is so important. You never know how busy people are and introducing people without permission makes them feel as if they have to respond.
Very true.
I believe that meeting the right people can make a huge difference in how fast you get to where you want to be.
I’d like to be known for the person who helps professional women communicate without anxiety, fear, and uneasiness.
I agree with you. That is one precise reason why inspite of being in the final months of my Chartered Accountancy Qualification (which is plain finance and law) I am doing an additional PG in MBA marketing. Im good with people, but I wanna go through the professional aspects of it too. So many times the reason for you getting a key meeting or an interview depends on you going through the right person.
True.. most people can take care of their business and don’t really need help financially. But building contacts does two things, it give you the advantage of knowing people personally. So you save time going through the loops of formality. Plus when you introduce someone to your contacts, it elevates your own profile and also helps the other the person.
Afterall, we are social beings. Social influence breaks many walls.
Great comments Shaleen. Knowing people can help you. And even if you don’t need the network now, it’s something you’ll have forever.
Well thank you Derek. Keep the good stuff coming. P.S I didn’t follow your advise on the niche issue 🙂
Haha.. yep! Comment number one!