Comments on: This one little “social mistake” can make people hate you (don’t do it…)

By: Godwin

Godwin — Thu, 18 Aug 2016 20:00:42 +0000

Its really really disturbing when no one seem to be listening to you in a conversation. Every one almost always has a preconsived opinion…so your ‘angle’ doesnt seem to matter and you just catch yourself talking to yourself. Its pitiable!

I’ve learnt to apply ‘maturity’ in such instances, so its not a big deal.

By: Nick

Nick — Wed, 27 Jul 2016 15:05:33 +0000

Derek Sivers just wrote an article about people (specifically managers) offering their “2 cents” on everything.

Sivers’ writes:

The boss’s opinion is no better than anyone else’s. But once you become the boss, unfortunately your opinion is dangerous because it’s not just one person’s opinion anymore — it’s a command! So adding your two cents can really hurt morale.

A business should not focus on the boss, so this restraint is healthy. You shouldn’t give your opinion on everything just because you can.

Obviously, if there’s more than “2 cents” worth of stuff that needs to change, then this rule does not apply.

****

Sounds like the person correcting your pronunciation could benefit from reading this advice too.

Here’s Sivers’ full article: https://sivers.org/2c.

By: Samantha

Samantha — Sun, 24 Jul 2016 16:53:05 +0000

I really like your example of someone making a social mistake, however I think that the reaction to a social blunder can be even more important. In your example, where you are corrected for your pronunciation of a particular word, how did you react? Thanking the interrupter for the assistance and moving on shows a sense of confidence and grace. If you react with confrontation , even if you are correct it can come off very negative. I think that having an understanding of how I would react to those most common social blunders is what will make me a better conversationalist.

What would be the most appropriate response to these common social mishaps?

By: Bilyana

Bilyana — Thu, 30 Jun 2016 13:56:14 +0000

People lose interest for people that talk about themselves fast. If the story does not benefit me in any way, I will definitely interrupt (politely) and ask the speaker about something else, just not to have to waste my own time with his boring stories. My time and attention are most valuable to me.

By: Katie

Katie — Mon, 13 Jun 2016 13:59:04 +0000

Amen! I also categorize this a people who “talk at you” instead of “talking with you.”

By: Billy

Billy — Sun, 12 Jun 2016 23:35:14 +0000

What I seen lately is people jumping to conclusions on everything without actually experimenting for themselves, and then telling you what to do in regards to what they just concluded on… Certainly not a good way to communicate with others!

By: Brian

Brian — Sat, 11 Jun 2016 23:56:49 +0000

In an effort to state an opposing or alternate point of view, the most common mistake I see is personalizing the response. Direct your response to the audience in general and not the individual. The message is still delivered and friction is minimized.

By: Cathy

Cathy — Fri, 10 Jun 2016 21:55:59 +0000

That was supposed to say “gift of sarcasm.”

By: Cathy

Cathy — Fri, 10 Jun 2016 21:53:38 +0000

Thank you, Elly! I did feel offended and hurt actually. It’s a pretty broad brush to hate the way Americans speak, especially since we have so many different accents and manners of speech. Jean, you might be one of those people Derek was just talking about.

By: Eliz

Eliz — Fri, 10 Jun 2016 15:22:46 +0000

People who turn the conversation around to themselves and their projects or family. The whole conversation turns into look at me look at me. We really need to slow our thoughts down to listen.