Just one small point is in some people this won’t work because their lack of confidence is such a trigger response that it overwhelms them before they even have a chance to follow any rational advice. The response could be described as phobic. We see these kind of clients every day in our practice and usually the problem is triggered by something that happened to them many years ago. They will have almost certainly forgotten the original incident or not connected it with their problem but it will have had a profound impact on the way that they feel.

Generally these incidents are minor in the scheme of things but as they usually happen in childhood it will feel huge to the child who feels panic, fear, embarrassment and lack of control. This is where part of their mind decides that it will do anything to get out of experiencing the same feelings again. So if they were embarrassed in front of the whole class when they were on stage or reading out loud they will do anything to avoid the same thing happening to them again. They will sit at the back of the class and never put their hand up. Avoid talking in front of groups of people and for many this will turn into social anxiety. The anxiety gets ever bigger until they reach adulthood where they are afraid to do anything that puts them in the limelight.

Social anxiety can be helped through therapy such as hypnosis, NLP, psychotherapy and so on where either the original pattern is interrupted and replaced with a more suitable pattern or alternatively the root cause is found and resolved. This can have an instant impact on the way a person feels and stop the fear completely so it is worth considering in more difficult cases.

A lack of confidence robs you of relationships, money and freedom so anything which can encourage people to challenge the fear is to be applauded and worth pursuing

I have autism.

I struggle with confidence because I do not have the ability to understand social situations.

Therefore, in order to gain confidence, I study social situations. It’s a hell of a lot of work.

And its the only thing that works. Systemising it.

That’s one reason why I came back to this video today to hunt down more confidence tips!

p.s. you can tell your clients that they can be the best, not just historical figures like Einstein, Tesla, Mozart, and Jefferson, but people walking around today have autism and we have incredible focus.

It’s a bad conditioning for your own mind. Basically telling yourself you are a fraud.

Another approach you could try is, notice them when they are in their most confident states. Doing something they have absolute confidence in.

Notice their body language. Their speech. Their movements and behaviour.

Do the same thing when they are in an uncomfortable unconfident situation.

Compare the two. confidence can start by simply engaging these confidence actions.

When learning confidence skills you must understand that in the early stages it can easily come and go. The trick is to know understand one thing I always tell people, the mind follows the body as the body follows the mind.

What that means is pay attention to your own body language when you are feeling confident. Take notes of what you do with your body, your speech, your actions, and your thoughts.

Then do the same thing on days where you are back to being shy once again.

What you’ll notice is that when you’re confident and when you’re shy, your body and mind are doing two different things.

So if you know what you do with your body when you are shy, you are able to switch it to what you do when you are confident. It may feel a little odd and difficult in the beginning but trust me it gets easier. Then when you shift your body from shy to confident, your mind will follow along as well.

For example, if you’re laying on the couch eating chips and watching the news all afternoon, you’ll probably feel very unmotivated.

However, if you stand up and force yourself to put your running shoes on and you go for a run for about 30 minutes to an hour, you’ll come back in a much more motivated mindset.

So take note of your body and your thoughts when you are in either a confident or a shy mode, compare the list and now you have the ability to shift out of such a terrible state of mind and into a much more powerful one!